ALONE?
i should be feeling alone. not really lonely, that sounds too tragic for someone who’s passed the so called quarter life crisis. i’ve had a nearly normal childhood that angst was a ghostly emotion. but not until i discovered how cruel it could be to live independently in a third world country as ours, especially if you’re just a mere middle class honest citizen. i have been surrounded with a lot of genuine friends that i havent felt alienated anywhere. but not until i had my dumb inexperienced heart hammered into pieces by some pirates cloaked as royalties. i have never desired to have much earthly possessions as long as i get to enjoy little luxuries. but that’s not until i have learned to dream big so i could have sufficient resources to spend, so i could live comfortably during my dawning years - if GOD permits.
I should feel ALONE because i think i havent been basking with the mainstream.
I should feel ALONE because i still am fulfilled with my present job, despite the fact that i have to deal with the bullshits of some fellows with attitude problems at work; and mostly despite the fact that the system is being run like by the politicians in the philippine government. God, how i love to squirt these crooks between my two thumbnails like we mostly do with a lice.
I should feel ALONE because my colleagues and friends at work who are all dear to me had left. But I don’t. I’ve had been ENVIOUS. SAD. SENTIMENTAL through it all. but i am also HAPPY for them.
Yes, I should feel ALONE. but am not.
I wonder why…
