ain’t really deep thoughts

while on my way home yesterday, a question crossed my mind…

isn’t it a big wonder how couples keep their love for each other alive throughout a lifetime?  it must be surely tough to love that way. love is not merely romance that it has to wither when the excitement and the kilig factor are all gone.  to love is to take a responsibility - to commit to do anything to the point of making sacrifices for the to relationship to linger.

as soon as i was home, i got me a pen and a paper.  then the words poured forth…

When all words are exhausted

And you had all my pieces sorted

Will my presence bring bliss no more?

Will I still be the man you always adore?

When you’ll meet a new attractive face

As we go through these ordinary days

In your thoughts will there be left a space

For me to run around to keep you in daze?          

If romance has to burn too soon

Will you still stay to be my moon?

Will you continue to shine this bright

Only with my constant love left at your sight?

i should be feeling alone.  not really lonely, that sounds too tragic for someone who’s passed the so called quarter life crisis.  i’ve had a nearly normal childhood that angst was a ghostly emotion.  but not until i discovered how cruel it could be to live independently in a third world country as ours, especially if you’re just a mere middle class honest citizen. i have been surrounded with a lot of genuine friends that i havent felt alienated anywhere.  but not until i had my dumb inexperienced heart hammered into pieces by some pirates cloaked as royalties.  i have never desired to have much earthly possessions as long as i get to enjoy little luxuries.  but that’s not until i have learned to dream big so i could have sufficient resources to spend, so i could live comfortably during my dawning years - if GOD permits.

I should feel ALONE because i think i havent been basking with the mainstream.

I should feel ALONE because i still am fulfilled with my present job, despite the fact that i have to deal with the bullshits of some fellows with attitude problems at work; and mostly despite the fact that the system is being run like by the politicians in the philippine government.  God, how i love to squirt these crooks between my two thumbnails like we mostly do with a lice. 

I should feel ALONE because my colleagues and friends at work who are all dear to me had left. But I don’t.  I’ve had been ENVIOUS. SAD.  SENTIMENTAL through it all. but i am also HAPPY for them.

Yes, I should feel ALONE. but am not.

I wonder why…